Aviation Quotes, Adages & a bit of Fun.
We start with probably the most important of all !
Rule Number One.
No matter what else happens, fly the aeroplane!
Experience is a hard teacher.
First comes the test, then the lesson.
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgement to avoid situations where they might have to use their superior skills.
Aviate, Navigate, Communicate.
In a twin-engine aircraft, the purpose of the second engine is to supply the pilot with enough power to fly to the scene of the crash.
The worst day of flying still beats the best day of real work.
When a prang seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity, as slowly and gently as possible.
Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII.
If God had meant man to fly, he'd have given him a lot more money.
Airspeed, Altitude or Brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude.
No-one has ever collided with the sky.
Just remember, if you crash because of bad weather, your funeral will likely be held on a sunny day.
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum.
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.
If an aeroplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it.
ride it down.
You've never been lost until you've been lost at
Though I fly through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am at 80,000 feet and climbing.
Never fly the 'A' model of anything.
There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement.
A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time.
Helicopters are for the rich..... or the enlisted.
Try to stay in the middle of the air.
The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
The three most common expressions in aviation are:
'Why is it doing that?' 'Where are we? and 'Oh Crap'.
A smooth landing is mostly luck, two in a row is all luck, three in a row is prevarication.
We have a perfect record in aviation.
We never left one up there!
If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage,
it's probably a helicopter - and likely unsafe.
Torches are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.
Flying the aeroplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it.
It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation.
You just have to start off with a large fortune.
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's likely to!
Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous.
But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect.
Every take-off is optional.
It's the landing that's mandatory.
In flying I have learned that carelessness and over confidence are usually far more dangerous than deliberately accepted risks.
Wilbur Wright in a letter to his father.
I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
The ultimate responsibility of the pilot is to fulfil the dreams of the countless millions of earthbound ancestors who could only stare skyward in wonder.
If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter fly-ins?
A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away from. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the aeroplane again.
Flying isn't dangerous. It's crashing that's dangerous.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger.
If you pull the stick back, they get smaller.
Unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
Keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down.
One of the most important skills that a pilot must develop is the skill to ignore those things that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's attention.
If we are what we eat, then some pilots should eat more chicken.
A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down.
IFR - I Follow Roads.
It's always better to be down on the ground wishing you were up in the air than up in the air wishing you were down on the ground.
You can land anywhere once.
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.
Without fuel, pilots merely become pedestrians.
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone talks about might just be another aircraft going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
I give that landing an 8 . . . on the Richter scale.
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal the number of take-offs you've made.
A meteorologist is just a common person who went to school long enough to be paid to guess what the weather is going to be.
I'd rather be lucky than good.
In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea.
It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
There are old pilots and there are bold pilots.
However, there are no old, bold pilots.
'Unskilled' pilots are often found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.
You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
Remember that the radio is only an electronic suggestion box for the pilot. Sometimes the only way to clear up a problem is to turn it off.
It is the pilot's responsibility to never let any other thing touch his aircraft.
Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day.
Nothing flies without fuel, so best start with coffee.
Things which do you no good in aviation:
The sky above you. Runway behind you. Fuel in the bowser. Half a second ago. Approach plates in the car. The airspeed you don't have.
It's good to trust your captain, but just as well to keep your seat-belt securely fastened.
An aircraft may disappoint a good pilot, but it is unlikely to surprise him.
There are only two things required to fly a modern airliner. A pilot and a dog.
It's the pilot's job to feed the dog. It's the dog's job to bite the pilot if he touches anything in the cockpit.
Fuel in the tanks is limited. Gravity is forever.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing - Unfortunately, no one knows what they are?
For some strange reason passengers have more confidence in older captains and young air-hostess's.
The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as co-pilot is a co-pilot who once was a captain.
Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase head wind.
A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside - It's far worse!
Always remember you fly a plane with your head, not your hands.
I know there's a lot of money in aviation because I've helped put it there.
A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying and about flying when he's with a woman.
Believe in your instruments and think ahead of your plane.
The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the 'down' position.
Never trust a fuel gauge.
The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Make it stop, then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
Flying can be hours of boredom, punctuated by moments of stark terror.
Fly the beast until the last piece stops moving.
Regarding engine power. Lots is good, more is better, and too much is just enough.
Any check-flight ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.
Experience is simply enough knowledge that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
The nicer an aeroplane looks, the better it flies.
If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area.
If you don't like what you see, turn 'em back off.
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Never let a plane take you somewhere you brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
Don't drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone.
Helicopters don't fly.
They just beat the air into submission.
Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. Landing is the first!
If you've got time to spare, go by air.
If you don't gear up your brain before takeoff, you'll probably gear up your aeroplane on landing.
Flying is not like Nintendo..
You can't push a button and start again.
Helicopters are for people who want to fly but don't want to go anywhere.
I'm not speeding officer - I'm just flying low.
The future in aviation is the next 30 seconds.
Long term planning is an hour and a half.
The thing that scares me most about flying, is the drive to the airport.
Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Chopper pilots get it up quicker.
It is far better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
What's the difference between God and pilots?
God doesn't think he's a pilot.
CAUTION - Aviation may be hazardous to your wealth.
I want to die like my grandfather peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
In thrust I trust.
Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgement.
Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
For all the safety of a twin engine aircraft it also doubles your chances of engine failure.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it ain't fixed, don't fly it.
It is said that two wrongs do not make a right, but two Wrights did make an aeroplane.
Without ammunition the RAF would be just another expensive flying club.
It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
Any comment about how well things are going is an absolute guarantee of trouble.
It at first you don't succeed.
Well, so much for skydiving.
When you look at the next TAF remember it's said to be a horoscope with numbers.
Keep looking around, there's always something you've missed.
Some pilots will make an emergency out of a bad magneto check. Others, will simply ask for a lower altitude upon losing part of a wing.
Aviation has created many millionaires, primarily from the ranks of multi-millionaires.
A suitable finish, which should serve as a great leveller and a simple reminder.
You’re always a student in an aeroplane!